Today on The G-Chat Diaries, we have an historic first...the addition of Chatter Y! Enjoy our inanity.
WWW: Simple Minds takes me back to high school more than any band.
Chatter X: Why do they do that?
WWW: Because of their John Hughes thing I think.
Chatter X: Don't they know you're not in high school anymore?
WWW: Yes, but they also know I cheated on my math final.
Chatter X: Well, it's nice of them to come all the way from Scotland to take you back to school.
WWW: Well, they were coming to visit Chrissie Hynde anyway.
Chatter X: They're divorced!
WWW: They are? Hey, Depeche Mode is playing the one song of theirs I actually like.
Chatter X: Personal Jesus?
WWW: YES. How did you know?
Chatter X: That's everyone's "only song by Depeche Mode I like"
Chatter X: They've been divorced for a long time. Oh, you can invite Chatter Y back.
CHATTER Y HAS JOINED
Chatter Y: Well that sucked.
WWW: Like anyone else even knows they were married.
Chatter X: Everyone knows they were married.
Chatter Y: Who were married?
Chatter X: Okay, we'll see if you know. Chrissie Hynde and...
Chatter Y: I have absolutely no idea who Chrissie Hynde is married to or was married to. Nor do I even know who the hell Chrissie Hynde is. Though I think she is in the music business and you now will laugh at me for not knowing.
Chatter X: HA HA HA
WWW: HAHAHAHAHA. She's Googling it!
Chatter X: I'm laughing so hard I'm choking. I just loved the way you stated that.
WWW: And how you knew we would point and laugh.
Chatter X: Like you're so ashamed and angry that you don't know something that you think you should know.
Chatter Y: She's some sort of rocker chick I think.
Chatter X: Chrissie Hynde is the lead singer from The Pretenders.
Chatter Y: Yep, see?
WWW: I guess that's a no on who she was married to then?
Chatter X: And she was married to the dude from Simple Minds.
Chatter Y: I had no idea.
Chatter X: You're so lucky I'm not a hipster asshole.
Chatter Y: No shit.
WWW: I am.
Chatter Y: I used to pretend I knew shit with people, now I'm just honest. They can kiss my ass.
Chatter X: Oh, that reminds me. I found a new blog today. http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/
Chatter Y: Hahahaha. I love the title.
Chatter X: Me too. It's kind of like Fuck You Penguin, only for hipsters and with not as many words. And probably not as funny. WWW and I were talking about starting a blog in the vein of FUP...Fuck You, Illegal Alien. Or maybe Fuck You, Immigrant.
Chatter Y: Hahahahaha. That would be so inflammatory.
Chatter X: But then my mind went blank. I couldn't think of any funny entries.
WWW: Yeah, I had to do all the work.
Chatter X: Of course he came up with something funny right off the bat.
WWW: As usual.
Chatter Y: I just wish I had thought of FUP first. I kicked myself when I saw it.
Chatter X: I know...it's so simple.
Chatter Y: So easy. So brilliant.
Chatter X: Like, why didn't i invent the Snuggie? I kick myself every day over that.
WWW: That's how I felt when I saw the Imaginary Reviewer. Because I wanted to do reviews of mundane things like doorknobs and gravity. It's not the same, but it's close enough. And he's too good at it.
Chatter Y: I know - and you know those guys who sell that thing DIDN'T EVEN INVENT IT...The Slanket and others were first.
WWW: The Slanket sounds dirty.
Chatter X: Well, Slanket is just an awful name. it deserves to lose its market share.
Chatter X: It sounds like a Russian prostitute.
WWW: "Did you see his new girlfriend? She is a total dirty slanket."
Chatter X: Svetlana the Slanket.
Chatter Y: It totally sounds like that!
Chatter X: slut/strumpet/skank
WWW: Russian names are hot.