Saturday, May 16, 2009

5,000 WWW Fans Can't Be Wrong

This morning at 10:39 AM local time, some poor bastard in Kearny, New Jersey became the 5,000th visitor to this here blog! I grew up in New Jersey (the good part), which makes this rather appropria...well, not really. Maybe poeti...well, not that either. Let's go with "a total coincidence". Nevertheless, I salute you, unknown visitor! Even if you did only stay zero seconds.

5,000 visitors is not a milestone that should go unexamined and un-garishly celebrated. So I've endeavored to help give you an idea of just how large a number 5,000 is.

Did you know that 5,000 is...

...how many hours per week the ladies at Gingers Is The Watchword spend watching BBC America? They don't even show baseball on that channel!

...how many marriage proposals comments Girl Interrupted gets on every entry?

...how many followers Dr. Zibbs has? And that he still bitches about it?

...how many miles Beckeye must stay away from Michael Johns, according to his restraining order?

...how many times Soda & Candy has kicked an American (with one of her 5,000 shoes) for asking if the dingo ate her baby?

...how many more places Gwen's monkey has traveled than I have?

...how many PSIs one of MJenks' farts produces?

...how many days it's been since Falwless wrote a real entry?

...how many telephone books Cora has to stand on to kiss Scope?

...how many times Kimmie has made me drool? (TWSS!)

...how many entries Poobomber writes on an average Tuesday?

...how many grandmothers ~E has?

...how many times per week I'd like to have dinner at the Diva on a Diet's house?

...how many times The Vegetable Assassin has been told that "a lady doesn't say such things"?

...how many dirty (and probably wrong) ideas I've had for what Splunkerdink means?

...how many boys Prunella Jones has made cry?

...how many photos by 180/360 that have made me want to beat up my camera?

...how many of The Imaginary Reviewer's subjects I wish were real?

...how many stories recounted by Mr. London Street that I have passed off as my own in order to look cool?

...how many people I will shortly realize I have forgotten?

18 metawords:

Cora said...

5,000 phone books, huh? No wonder my purse weighs so freaking much. Mystery solved.

Best. Post. Ever. I adore you, Words!!!! Congratulations on the big five-oh-oh-oh! :-)

Girl Interrupted said...

Oooh! Congrats, Wordy, ya big blog-supa-star!

Now ... where's my bloody marriage proposal and big eff-off diamond engagement ring????

Eh?

EH?

red said...

I'm seriously watching Top Gear on BBCA as I read this. No joke.

But I don't think Liz watches much BBCA at all. Just saying.

Soda and Candy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Soda and Candy said...

Ahahahhahaa!!! Thanks for the shout-out, Words (although you know we'd be playing That's Not a Knife, This is a Knife if you'd forgotten me!

; )

Morgan the Muse said...

well, congrats on 5k dude.

Prunella Jones said...

5,000? Shit, I've made way more boys cry than that.

Congrats on all the visitors.

180|360 said...

Wow, I'm so honored to be listed on one of my favorite blogs! But under no conditions should you ever beat your camera up. Cheat on it - yes. Abuse it- NO.

Scope said...

If you are talking about my childhood home town's phone book, you would be about right. If I remember right, ti was a sheet of legal paper, folded in half, so that there were 4 "pages".

Wait, that was my college's daily newspaper. Never mind.

Kimmie said...

Yay! A shout out! Congrats on the 5K. Now I think in celebration, you should consume 5000 calories of the Aforementioned Pudding.

The Diva on a Diet said...

I adore you too! Thanks and Congrats! You've got an open invitation and if you take me up on it I will provide you with ... 5,000 calories! ;)

BeckEye said...

And you've tried to get me to netsex you 5,000 times.

Woops, sorry, that's a lie. I'm bad at math. 50,000 times.

Falwless said...

What BeckEye said.

~E said...

It's actually 5000 and 2.

Yes...and 2...

Close though!

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Wow, congrats! I wish they were all real too...

Mr London Street said...

You really are too kind. And congratulations!

Kimizzy said...

Hey! I missed this post during my self-absorbed phase which is still currently going on! (And probably will forever).

I'm totally honored you think Splunkerdink means something. It does, and it's sorta dirty. It's an inside joke... but soon I will have a post about it. It's been gnawing at me.

And congrats! You're wickedly popular now!

Gwen said...

Are you using "monkey" as a euphemism?

Congrats on your first 5K!