The G-Chat Diaries, Vol. 5

Today on The G-Chat Diaries, we have an historic first...the addition of Chatter Y! Enjoy our inanity.


WWW: Simple Minds takes me back to high school more than any band.

Chatter X: Why do they do that?

WWW: Because of their John Hughes thing I think.

Chatter X: Don't they know you're not in high school anymore?

WWW: Yes, but they also know I cheated on my math final.

Chatter X: Well, it's nice of them to come all the way from Scotland to take you back to school.

WWW: Well, they were coming to visit Chrissie Hynde anyway.

Chatter X: They're divorced!

WWW: They are? Hey, Depeche Mode is playing the one song of theirs I actually like.

Chatter X: Personal Jesus?

WWW: YES. How did you know?

Chatter X: That's everyone's "only song by Depeche Mode I like"

Chatter X: They've been divorced for a long time. Oh, you can invite Chatter Y back.

CHATTER Y HAS JOINED

Chatter Y: Well that sucked.

WWW: Like anyone else even knows they were married.

Chatter X: Everyone knows they were married.

Chatter Y: Who were married?

Chatter X: Okay, we'll see if you know. Chrissie Hynde and...

Chatter Y: I have absolutely no idea who Chrissie Hynde is married to or was married to. Nor do I even know who the hell Chrissie Hynde is. Though I think she is in the music business and you now will laugh at me for not knowing.

Chatter X: HA HA HA

WWW: HAHAHAHAHA. She's Googling it!

Chatter X: I'm laughing so hard I'm choking. I just loved the way you stated that.

WWW: And how you knew we would point and laugh.

Chatter X: Like you're so ashamed and angry that you don't know something that you think you should know.

Chatter Y: She's some sort of rocker chick I think.

Chatter X: Chrissie Hynde is the lead singer from The Pretenders.

Chatter Y: Yep, see?

WWW: I guess that's a no on who she was married to then?

Chatter X: And she was married to the dude from Simple Minds.

Chatter Y: I had no idea.

Chatter X: You're so lucky I'm not a hipster asshole.

Chatter Y: No shit.

WWW: I am.

Chatter Y: I used to pretend I knew shit with people, now I'm just honest. They can kiss my ass.

Chatter X: Oh, that reminds me. I found a new blog today. http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/

Chatter Y: Hahahaha. I love the title.

Chatter X: Me too. It's kind of like Fuck You Penguin, only for hipsters and with not as many words. And probably not as funny. WWW and I were talking about starting a blog in the vein of FUP...Fuck You, Illegal Alien. Or maybe Fuck You, Immigrant.

Chatter Y: Hahahahaha. That would be so inflammatory.

Chatter X: But then my mind went blank. I couldn't think of any funny entries.

WWW: Yeah, I had to do all the work.

Chatter X: Of course he came up with something funny right off the bat.

WWW: As usual.

Chatter Y: I just wish I had thought of FUP first. I kicked myself when I saw it.

Chatter X: I know...it's so simple.

Chatter Y: So easy. So brilliant.

Chatter X: Like, why didn't i invent the Snuggie? I kick myself every day over that.

WWW: That's how I felt when I saw the Imaginary Reviewer. Because I wanted to do reviews of mundane things like doorknobs and gravity. It's not the same, but it's close enough. And he's too good at it.

Chatter Y: I know - and you know those guys who sell that thing DIDN'T EVEN INVENT IT...The Slanket and others were first.

WWW: The Slanket sounds dirty.

Chatter X: Well, Slanket is just an awful name. it deserves to lose its market share.

Chatter X: It sounds like a Russian prostitute.

WWW: "Did you see his new girlfriend? She is a total dirty slanket."

Chatter X: Svetlana the Slanket.

Chatter Y: It totally sounds like that!

Chatter X: slut/strumpet/skank

WWW: Russian names are hot.