Monday, May 11, 2009

TV Networks Are Stealing My Brain

First of all, despite what I am about to tell you, I am not crazy. I am convinced that there is a chip implanted in my brain that relays all my thoughts to executives at the TV networks. First there was the episode of South Park that was identical to one I'd written. Now this.

I've lived alone for almost two years, but before that I had a roommate for a long time. As roommates who are also friends tend to do, we had a million inside jokes that cracked us up but would have left others scratching their heads. She went through a period where she ate ridiculous and unhealthy things, and one night announced plans to eat chocolate pudding for dinner. I am not making this up. I tried to talk her out of it, but my convincing and lawyerly arguments were falling on deaf ears. To be fair, most of my argument consisted of me yelling "What? Get the fuck out of here!" But to be more fair, that should have been enough.

Finally, she'd had it and said, "Enough! I'm going to eat the aforementioned pudding and you can't stop me!" We both thought that was about the funniest thing we'd ever heard and started laughing. "The aforementioned pudding" became one of our inside jokes. For years, it was used any time we wanted to refer to something from the past, whether it was pudding-related or not. We also thought it sounded like a good indie band name or Agatha Christie novel. "The aforementioned pudding" was one of those phrases I love because you are sure it has never been uttered by humankind before in all of recorded history. That's part of why it was so funny to us.

Then THIS happened. I was watching TV and one of those Hulu commercials came on, this one starring Denis Leary. He made mention of TV turning people's brains to pudding, and then near the end of the commercial referred to "the aforementioned pudding". Had I been sitting in a chair instead of lounging horizontally, I would likely have fallen off. I immediately texted my friend. "SOMEBODY ON TV JUST SAID 'THE AFOREMENTIONED PUDDING'!" She shot back "SHUT UP!" and immediately consulted YouTube to confirm.

Clearly, TV networks are stealing my brain. And more importantly, not compensating me appropriately. Behold the evidence:

17 metawords:

Soda and Candy said...

aforementioned = one of the best words ever. I commend your friend on her excellent vocabularosity.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

The Aforementioned Pudding sounds like it should be a short work by Edward Gorey. I like it.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

The word "pudding" is one of my favourites EVER. PUDDING.

But, even more odd than your "everyone's stealing my ideas" thing is this: I CAN SEE THE HULU VIDEO. You know, IN CANADA? That never happens. Usually we're not allowed because we smell.

Also? The word veri thing says "mirthwo" which I deduce is short for "mirth words" which suits this entry AWESEOMELY.

LiLu said...

And I am even more convinced that the Hulu commercials are 100% true...

Girl Interrupted said...

Mmmm chocolate pudding!

Mmmm Dennis Leary!

Mmmm again at aforementioned pudding!

words...words...words... said...

Veggie: Sadly, that is only a YouTube video of a TV commercial for Hulu. I'm afraid that you still stink.

LiLo: Me too. Me too.

Kimmie said...

I don't know about you, but looking at that still shot of the video before it's played...it looks like he's mocking you.

Rebecca said...

The whole point of being an adult is eating chocolate pudding for dinner if you want to eat the aforementioned chocolate pudding for dinner.

talesofawellfedgraphicdesigner said...

Since they're in your brain, do you think you could start thinking about "Dead Like Me" a lot? I'd really love to see some new episodes.

180|360 said...

Every single comedic writer I've ever known has a similar story.

red said...

Mmmmm Denis Leary, indeed.

The Diva on a Diet said...

Look, with a comedic mind like yours its no wonder somebody is tapping in!

Meanwhile, I'm late to the game but congrats on your new address! I need to update my blogroll post haste ...

words...words...words... said...

New rule: There will be no uncouth drooling at men in my blog except at me. Thank you.

Cora said...

Sorry, I missed it - what were you saying while Denis Leary was looking sexy?

~E said...

In the off chance that what you say is correct and you really have the inside line on TV networks, will you please imagine David Boreanaz half naked and then promply send those thoughts to the good folks over at FOX?

Thanks!

~E said...

I just watched tonights episode of Bones and what did I see but a half naked David Boreanaz!!!

I say thank you Kind Sir!

Even if you deny having anything to do with it, Ill thank you just the same.

To keep you and your mojo on my side!

Gwen said...

I'm sorry. Were you saying something while I was thinking about the aforementioned Denis Leary?