Sunday, May 17, 2009

Attack Of The 50 Foot Pancakes

This morning I had breakfast with my old friend Cassie at The Griddle Cafe, where you can often spot hungover D-list celebrities soaking up the previous night's excesses with greasy hash browns and pancakes the size of Frisbees.

I had brown sugar banana pancakes. As delicious as they were, I was no match for them. I am a big eater, but I trembled in the presence of these powdered sugar-dusted manhole covers. I was not able to eat even half of my breakfast. I could not help but agree when Cassie pronounced herself "thoroughly unimpressed". Of course, that's easy to say for someone who ordered oatmeal with strawberries. But still, she had a point, as you can see below.


The reason you can't see the plate is that they are bigger than the plate. All THREE of them. Honestly, I cannot be expected to finish that. The waiter noticed that I was slowing down and asked if I wanted to take them home. "Hell yes, I do!" I replied. "I'm not letting these pancakes beat me. They've won the battle, but I will win the war." And tonight for dinner, I did!*

*I did not.

I swear, they're almost gone. These pancakes and I are having the longest relationship I've had in some time, and I respect them enough to finish them. Dearest brown sugar banana pancakes...tomorrow morning is going to be the end for us, as I taste you for the last time. Our parting will be bittersweet, especially if I run out of syrup. But fear not. If today is any indication I will feel your presence in my body for a long time to come.

22 metawords:

Prometheus said...

There seems to be a chunk missing from the bottom right of the pancake. Is that how you recieved it...? lol

Kimmie said...

The butter:pancake ratio seems a bit uneven! Mo' butta!

I am very proud of you for NOT finishing these in neither one nor TWO sittings. That's a heart attack on a plate, and dammit, we need you here. After all, I'm on the edge of my seat here, waiting for the Squeakquel!

Soda and Candy said...

Pussy.

lol

red said...

Ew.

I'm glad you didn't finish them either.

Morgan the Muse said...

well, I do not like pancakes myself, so I think I would have stuck with the oatmeal. But I suppose that having ordered them, and knowing that could feed a small village in some third world country for a week, I would keep them too.

The Diva on a Diet said...

OMG, I saw this place on the FoodNetwork once and I couldn't believe it. Yikes! I do agree with Kimizzy though ... much more butter is needed!

Prunella Jones said...

You know, looking at that pic I think I see an image of a Tyronasaurus Rex in the powdered sugar. These were obviously holy pancakes from the dinosaur gods. No wonder they kicked your ass.

Girl Interrupted said...

Woah! :|

Girl Interrupted said...

... and haha @ Soda & Candy! :P

Cora said...

It would take me a week to finish that. Blah.

Falwless said...

You pussy. I could have finished that and ordered another round.

Falwless said...

This might be why I'm fat.

Soda and Candy said...

(I was just kidding before, BTW. I do this all the time, my eyes are ALWAYS bigger than my stomach. Although lately Stomach is doing its best to catch up, the lousy son-of-a...)

talesofawellfedgraphicdesigner said...

Those are PANCAKES? Good lord!

180|360 said...

It's kind of ironic that your fork conceded before it began... I feel like it is saying, "I just can't. Please, don't make me do it!"

~E said...

1. Now I could be wrong since I'm too lazy to reach for my glasses, but is that butter scooped on there with an ice cream disher?

2. I have a feeling with all that butter and syrup and carbs, that pancake may be leaving your body sooner than you think...get my drift?? Poop!

3. Got your postcard!!! woohoo! I'm giving you a supremely cool shout out...complete with boob shots on my blog vlog attempt. No fail!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

They sound DEE-licious. But pancakes always fill me up way too early for me to enjoy the full meal. Stupid things.

Thanks for making me drool on myself though. I needed another challenge today.

Kimizzy said...

My Wish List To God For What I Want In The Afterlife Forever is now complete.

Catherinette said...

Why must you tease me with posts about pancakes??

I will do unmentionable things for good pancakes.

Gwen said...

Holy mergatroid! Those are HUGE!

I think it might have taken me a week. But I can't eat very much pancake in one sitting.

Kristine said...

Holy crap, I want those pancakes.

Trinity said...

There is a place in Lewisville, Texas called Ham and Eggs that does this exact same thing. We take everyone that visits there to watch their eyes bulge when they first see the pancakes. Cameras are usually involved.