Words/Zibbs

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and spend some time with the one, the only, Dr. Zibbs from That Blue Yak. Zibbs and I sat outside sipping some Wawa coffee on a chilly February morning and talked about his world-famous West Chester based blog, his landmark appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and the recent Oscar sweep for "That Blue Yak - The Movie" featuring Ashton Kutcher, Sidney Poitier, Erin E-surance, and the voice talents of Ray Romano as That Blue Yak.

Dr. Zibbs. Wow. What a year.

Probably not but depends how tight my pants are.

Dr. Zibbs, you rarely mention Mrs. Dr. Zibbs. How does she help support the Zibbs media empire, and how does she feel about the female attention that follows you everywhere you go?

Very good question, WWW. Mrs. Dr. Zibbs has little to do with my blog. In fact, we only discuss it occasionally as blogging is just a part of my famous, jet setting and spectacular life. Plus I'm afraid she'll mention to her friends and family that I have a blog. As for the attention from the ladies, she's used to that but I make sure not to flirt with ladies when she's in the same room.

Many theories have been bandied about by pundits, but please...clear it up for us once and all. What prompted the name "That Blue Yak"?

For some reason I wanted an animal and an obscure one. And I just picked blue for the hell of it. I guess I was thinking that eventually I could make a cool logo out of it and sell merchandise. Also, if I ever want to get a costume made, a blue yak would be pretty cool looking. As for the word "That" instead of "The", I forget why I chose that. I think the whole process took 30 seconds.

You're now an inspiration for an entire generation of bloggers and cross-platform media moguls. Who inspired a young Dr. Zibbs to follow the path that he did?

I've always been a fan of comedy. When I was a wee lad, my sister told me about SNL and I used to tape the show with a tape recorder and listen to it over and over. Other early influences were SCTV and comedians I would see on the Mike Douglas Show.

Please tell us about your new charity foundation, Yak Gives Bak.

Everyone knows that next to caring about me, I care about other people. And I really care about the people that care about me. Does that make sense? The Yak Gives Bak foundation is a new non profit (and by non profit I mean profit) portion of my blog that will help me get more traffic but cleverly packaged in way that it looks like I'm helping other people. For instance granting interviews or selling kits that help people have backyard carnivals. You know, how McDonald's used to have back in the day.

What's next for Dr. Zibbs? What have you not yet accomplished that you'd like to?

To tell you the truth, I'd really like to make more YouTube videos but I keep putting it off. I have a whole list of ideas but can never seem to make the time to actually do it. I would also like more women to send me photos of themselves with no clothes or with little clothing. Anything. I even asked Falwless to send me a PMS # (pantone color matching) of her nipple but she wouldn't do it. And let me stress here that I'm very discreet. There are a few blog ladies that have emailed me stuff and I've never shown it to anyone. It's the truth. Seriously, start sending stuff. I'm not joking.

(Ed. Note: Female bloggers wishing to send racy pictures to Dr. Zibbs may send them in care of this blog at untitledbloggerproject@gmail.com.)

What would you like the world to remember about Dr. Zibbs? What do you hope your legacy is?

I'd like the world to remember me for curing Lupus. As for the legacy, if I ever die, I'd like to have my blog put onto giant scrolls and the scrolls then travel the world. Then, after completing it's journey, maybe it can be plastered to a huge building. That of course is if I ever die.

For my final questions, I'll borrow from James Lipton, who borrowed from Bernard Pivot.

What is your favorite word? Your least favorite word?

Blue Tit (because it's a bird but makes people think of someone with a blue tit). Least favorite is dry heave. The image just sickens me.

What turns you on, creatively, spiritually or emotionally? What turns you off?

Me. I try to read my blog sometimes but forget it's me that wrote it and I realize how great it is. I admit to myself that it's a masterpiece. And that's pretty humble given that I'm trying to pretend someone else wrote it. What turns you off? Long walks on the beach and when people forget to click on my Google ads.

What sound or noise do you love? What sound or noise do you hate?

I love slide whistle. It just always cracks me up. And a lady being pleased during coitus. I hate the sound of the chicks on The View. Except for the blond one that most people hate. Except I like to picture her with her trap taped shut. So when I'm gettin it on with her she ain't blabbin'

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? What profession would you not like to attempt?

If I could sing, I'd want to be a rock star. But I'd also like to have my own TV show. I would not want to be a math teacher or a mime.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you at the pearly gates?

Hello my son. I've got news for you. Anyone who never clicked on your Google ads at least once a week has gone to hell. Because those free loaders should have known better. Now go get yourself a drink at the bar. We'll send some food over shortly.