Saturday, February 21, 2009

Adult Situations

Like many single men, I live in an apartment. Like many single men in a big city, I live in a small apartment. I don't have a dining room, I have an elongated living room that I've divided into two areas with a couch. This means that I usually eat my meals at my coffee table. I realize this is probably not that attractive, but I must take pains to point out that it is definitely several steps above eating Kraft macaroni and cheese from a pot over the sink.

I began working again in December, and decided that for the first time in my adult life it was time to own a dining table. I have two gorgeous cherry wood barstools with full backs that I uh, "misappropriated" from a movie set some years back. I decided that I needed to find a cherry wood pub table so that I would not have to add chairs to my list of purchases. I found the perfect one at, of all places, Target. It arrived this week and it looks great.

Tonight I decided it was time to eat like an adult and break the new table in. I made chicken parmesan, perhaps my favorite meal. As I sat at the table, I DID feel like an adult. But something was missing. When I ate at the coffee table, it was all about the food. Eating at a coffee table means you sit on the couch and look to the television on the opposite side. Television is a great date. It's frequently funny and charming, and it makes dinner go down easy.

When you eat at a dining table, you don't sit on the couch. You sit in a proper chair. Television is not on the other side. Another proper chair is on the other side. An empty one. Television doesn't judge you. It doesn't say anything about you. It's your friend.

An empty chair on the other side of the table does say something about you. It speaks volumes without saying a word.

8 metawords:

Morgan the Muse said...

Well, try watching CSI or something after they find a body that went through a wood chipper, and be eating spaghetti. Trust me, the empty chair is a relief.

words words words said...

I have a cast-iron stomach. No dice!

Besides, I should probably delete this entry. It's not really my style.

Dr Zibbs said...

Find a homeless person to sit in the chair while you eat. Tell him you'll pay him in food put when you're done just say, "Where's the contract? We didn't sign anything."

Gwen said...

It's good that you bought the table - now you have a formal place to eat when having guests - but move back to the couch! Single people are SUPPOSED to eat at the coffee table; it's multi-tasking.

Cora said...

Well said.

I know exactly what you mean. When my kid isn't here, I eat at the computer. It's lonely and awkward at the table all by myself! But at the computer it's kinda like a party! I just had breakfast with Scope, The Cowguy and YOU. Not a bad way to start the day, hmm?

And don't you dare delete this post!! I really like, The Cowguy just taught me how to make paddles, so, you know, don't tick me off, mister!!

Anonymous said...

Why don't you "misappropriate" a cutout of a famous actor or something and put in the empty seat? How about some hot chick that's smiling at you. That would be cool, huh?

Fancy Schmancy said...

I usually eat in front of the tv or at my computer in my bedroom. My dining room table makes 5 lonely chairs look back at me, I know how you feel.

Nej said...

When we moved to our new house, we vowed to use the dining room table for eating.

We've lived in this house for 2 years, and I've noticed that somehow, in the last few months, meals have been moved back to coffee table more and more.

It's your house, eat where you want.