Monday, August 11, 2008

Sexpat

I often think about what country I might move to if I ever become a fugitive from justice here in the good old USA. Many countries have unique charms that put them in the running. Canada has natural beauty and not too much culture shock. Italy has food and wine. Ireland has a bunch of people that look like me and drink like me. Japan would turn me into a legitimate and menacing presence in the low post.

I was mulling this question the other night during the parade of athletes at the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Presented with the finest physical specimens from all over the world, I quickly added another criterium to the list: Hot chicks! With this new category, many nations quickly ascended the list of Countries I Would Run Away To. In keeping with the Olympic spirit, I wish to award medals to these deserving nations.

GOLD: Serbia
I was as surprised as you are.

SILVER: The Netherlands
Make up your own joke here. It's too easy.

BRONZE: Australia
They lost points when swimmer Libby Trickett turned out to not be hot at all, despite having a seriously hot name.

Other Nations Deserving Of Praise (in alphabetical order)
Argentina
Croatia
Italy
Jordan
Russia
Turkey

Nations Deserving Of Scorn (in alphabetical order)
Great Britain

5 metawords:

Red said...

On the other side, there was one super hot guy carrying the flag for some country. I can't remember the details, but I want to move there.

(Congrats! Your first terrible comment from Red!)

Falwless said...

Wait, you're into chicks? I thought you were gay.

words words words said...

Fal: Look, just because a dude makes the fabbest tiramisu and flourless chocolate cake in the world doesn't mean he's gay.

Dr Zibbs said...

If you don't want to be found, go to China. You can live there for 2 years on $2000. But the food sucks.

words words words said...

I just thought it interesting to note that I got a hit on this entry from someone in Sweden who did a web search for the term "Sexpat", which I thought I had invented. Hopefully, the Swede was just trying to float an interesting proposition to his friend Pat.