Saturday, August 30, 2008

Point/Counterpoint: The Dictator's New Clothes

When in the course of human events friends disagree, sometimes it becomes necessary to take the dispute public to prove once and for all who is right. Friends, readers, members of the jury - please consider the arguments carefully and cast your vote. What is Kim Jong-Il wearing?


To assist you in your decision, you will be provided with the conversation that started the debate and then a brief closing statement from both Falwless and myself. When you have reached a conclusion (shirt), please vote in the sidebar poll.

me: Someone has a crush on Kim Jong Il? Hmmm?

Falwless: haha

me: It's the glasses, isn't it?

Falwless: Yes. And the fancy taupe jacket and high heel shoes.

me: I don't know if I've ever seen him wear a jacket. Maybe he does only for you.

Falwless: He always wears a jacket! Always taupe! lemme find a pic

me: he wears like those military shirts with the shoulder things.

Falwless: Isn't it, like, a jacket, though? I know it's military style but I thought it was a jacket, not a shirt. I dunno lemme go google image search. because this is very important to me

me: Clearly.

me: At 2am on a Friday, it's the most important thing in your life.

Falwless: It is! http://findmeazombie.com/Pages/Shoulda%20been%20a%20zombie/Images/Kim%20jong%20il.jpg

me: That's like a jac-shirt.

Falwless: Clearly a jacket, not a shirt, dude. No way, you can't slink outta that. It has a zipper. That shit's a jacket.

me: Okay, but would you wear a normal shirt under it or just a t shirt? I say just a t shirt. And that makes it a shirt, not a jacket.

Falwless: haha

me: This is so a post.

Falwless: Someone's gotta fucking pubLISH THIS AS A POST MY GOD

me: point/counterpoint

Falwless: GET OUT OF MY HEAD

me: We should do that for real.

Falwless: haha

me: Post the picture and offer arguments.

Falwless: Let's do it.

me: And ask for votes.

Falwless: that's actually a great idea

me: I know!

Falwless: it should go on your blog

me: I was going to say yours. That way someone will read it.

Closing Statement From Falwless:
In closing, Kim Jong Il clearly wears a jacket. It has elastic around the waistband, for chrissakes, and a zipper running down the entire length of the front. Even though he keeps it zipped and regardless of what is kosher to "wear underneath," this terribly tight taupe tapestry is, in the end, nothing less than an ugly jacket.

Closing Statement From Words Words Words:
Ladies and gentlemen, do not be swayed by buzzwords like "elastic", "zipper" and "length". As Fal herself points out, the garment is tight. So tight that one could not (and would not) wear a collared or buttoned shirt under it. Only a t-shirt is appropriate. A jacket is an OUTERGARMENT. If one cannot fit a regular garment under it, it cannot be an outergarment. A careful examination of the evidence supports only one conclusion - Kim Jong-Il is wearing a shirt. God bless you all, and God bless America.

31 metawords:

Falwless said...

IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING JACKET.

words words words said...

That's for the people to decide, you totalitarian hobag.

Dale said...

It's clearly a jacket. Whether he wears anything other than shame underneath matters not. Jacket.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Definitely jacket.

Gwen said...

It does seem he wears it like a shirt, I can't see evidence of a anything under there, but it's a jacket.

Sorry, www, I hate it when she's right, too.

Chris said...

I would have to go with "What is a jacket", Alex.

SkylersDad said...

I would need to first measure that materials thickness, and I doubt his security would let me get close enough for that. So I am siding with Falwless with Jacket.

pistols at dawn said...

The zipper (which is frowned upon by my people, the Amish, as proof of modern devilry) is all one need know. Much like my mind can't accept the idea of gay Republicans, I can't accept the idea of vertical zippers on a shirt.

Rebecca said...

I say it's a jumpsuit. Either that or it's a jacket.

~:*:*:Pixie:*:*:~ said...

Definitely a JACKET.

Jon said...

I vote Jacket. Although, I'm not really sure what "taupe" is. Does that make a difference?

words words words said...

How much is she paying you all? I'LL DOUBLE IT. Fal already gets the most comments on her blog. Do you really want to keep living under her thumb? The time is nigh, people! Revolt and vote shirt!

Stacey said...

It's got a zipper. He must be wearing SOMETHING under there. I don't know. I vote jacket.

Dr Zibbs said...

Jacket.

Jon said...

I've thought about this some more (read: drank some beers) and I'd like to change my vote to Shirt. Those buttons on the cuffs and pockets are very shirt-esque.

Besides, I'd be willing to bet KJI keeps that thing halfway unzippered most of the time anyway. You know, for the ladies.

Dave H said...

I agree w/ rebecca, that thing is called a jumpsuit.

Falwless is the most wrong in this case.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Dude, anything with a zipper is a jacket. I wear a jacket with a hood and a shirt under it in the winter all day long. And then I put a jacket over my jacket when I go outside. It's still a jacket.

Falwless said...

A jumpsuit is ONE PIECE, Genius Dave.

words words words said...

Fal, are you kidding me? Are you going to begrudge me one of my precious few votes? Leave Dave alone, he's a beautiful person.

M in SF said...

This entire thing that is happening here is hilarious.

I am going to refrain from voting only because I would like to put all my effort into admiring his hair.

Every inch and speckle of energy is going straight into thinking about his hair. Just the hair.

All this effort is making me want to unzip that zipper on that thing he is wearing. Yum-my!

Falwless said...

I just voted from work. BECAUSE I CAN. MUWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Mathdude said...

You jacket-people are idiots! It's a shirt. I have 3 just like it that I wear.

Lyla Lou said...

Sorry but I have to agree with Falwless. I think it's a jacket. A jacket with no shirt underneath, but a jacket.

BeckEye said...

It's a shirket.

words words words said...

Beckeye = Switzerland

ÄsK AliCë said...

It's bad fashion - can we all agree on that at least?!

ÄsK AliCë said...

It's bad fashion - can we all agree on that at least?!

TheSundayBest said...

This is a worthy, worthy discussion, not to be determined by one factor alone. So, the zipper for example is a red herring, since there are (horribly ugly) shirts that have zippers. And there are (insanely ugly) shirts that have elastic and also (wildly stupid) shirts that have really big buttons.

Based on this phrasing you can probably tell that I know it is a jacket. Not believe or think - know. And I know it is a jacket because the question is not what one would wear UNDER it, but whether one would wear something OVER this.

And one wouldn't. As tight and as ill-fitting and as if it were black it would be sold in Hot Topic as it is - it is not a shirt. Because you would not wear anything over it. Therefore, it is a jacket.

180/360 said...

It's a jacket.

Anonymous said...

Um...that picture isn't really conclusive, really. You can't see the bottom of the garment. For all I can tell, it could be a jumpsuit. I mean, isn't that the bee's knees in dictator high fashion these days? Let's ask Bush...

Soda and Candy said...

I know I'm late to this party. But it's clearly, clearly a jacket.