Sexpat

I often think about what country I might move to if I ever become a fugitive from justice here in the good old USA. Many countries have unique charms that put them in the running. Canada has natural beauty and not too much culture shock. Italy has food and wine. Ireland has a bunch of people that look like me and drink like me. Japan would turn me into a legitimate and menacing presence in the low post.

I was mulling this question the other night during the parade of athletes at the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Presented with the finest physical specimens from all over the world, I quickly added another criterium to the list: Hot chicks! With this new category, many nations quickly ascended the list of Countries I Would Run Away To. In keeping with the Olympic spirit, I wish to award medals to these deserving nations.

GOLD: Serbia
I was as surprised as you are.

SILVER: The Netherlands
Make up your own joke here. It's too easy.

BRONZE: Australia
They lost points when swimmer Libby Trickett turned out to not be hot at all, despite having a seriously hot name.

Other Nations Deserving Of Praise (in alphabetical order)
Argentina
Croatia
Italy
Jordan
Russia
Turkey

Nations Deserving Of Scorn (in alphabetical order)
Great Britain