Saturday, August 9, 2008

I'll Buy That For a Dollar!

Yesterday I stopped into the 99 Cents Only store. This L.A. chain claims to have invented the concept of the dollar store. I just kinda wanted to see what kinds of things they sell, and if there were really deals to be had. I suspected that the store was filled with things I wouldn't pay fifty cents for, let alone 99. I was half right. There were actually some really good deals and more name brand items than I expected, especially in weird sizes or packaging that you don't see in regular stores. Of course, there were also items that I would never buy in a dollar store and don't recommend that anyone else buy either. Thus, I've compiled this handy list as a service to my readers.

Shopping Smart At The Dollar Store

Do buy...

  • Paper goods
  • Garish Jesus-themed candles
  • Cleaning products
  • Name brand foods
  • Cacti
  • Toiletries
  • Venus Flytraps (I shit you not)


Do NOT buy...

  • Easter candy in August
  • Expired batteries
  • Lingerie
  • Melmac dishes (as a matter of taste, you should not purchase these at any store)
  • Food items with packaging that has been bleached by the sun
  • Wine
  • Produce
  • Condoms

Finally - I know it's tempting, but do NOT buy lingerie, wine and condoms at the dollar store and call it the "$3 Date Kit". Trust me.

9 metawords:

Red said...

I first read the line "Thus, I've compiled this handy list to service to my readers" and I got really excited.

99 cent/Dollar stores creep me out, but my grandma swears by them.

Falwless said...

DRUNK COMMENT CONMMENCING NOW. THIS WAD FREALLY FUNNY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

words words words said...

Red: I'll be servicing my readers as soon as I make sure which ones are hot.

Fal: Thanks a lot. Freally.

Gwen said...

$3 Date Kit cracked me up. I kind of want to give that as a gag gift now.

BeckEye said...

I bought some Garish Halloween decorations at the dollar store when I was in college. I had this one skeleton dude smallish statue which looked like something that a voodoo priestess would have. My roommate was actually afraid of it. I used to get off by putting it on the bathroom sink at night so when she turned on the light in the morning, she would see it and freak out.

No, there's really no point to this story.

words words words said...

Gwen: Excellent! I've been dying to start a sensation.

Beckeye: No point except to make me laugh! The sink thing killed me.

ÄsK AliCë said...

You can buy wine at the dollar store?

words words words said...

Alice: Well, you can buy some kind of alcoholic beverage fermented from "grapes". I think calling it wine might be generous.

beatnikchik said...

Oh I have a critical addition to your "do not buy in a dollar store" list. And that is pregnancy tests. The worst part is that they keep them in the checkout line by the gum. I assume that management considers them an impulse buy? And for that, I am offended. Both as a woman and as a dollar store shopper.