According to an article in this month's National Geographic, Twitter is not new. Recent discoveries of records from the past indicate that people with short attention spans from previous generations were also able to tweet to their heart's content. Here is a sampling of some tweets that the research turned up:
Going 2 theater, BBL
- Abraham Lincoln
Got a new job...captain of an unsinkable ship! Just need ice for my drink and I'm all good.
- Captain Edward John Smith
IM winning by so much I can tweet during my race. Dude with gay mustache looks mad.
- Jesse Owens
We've heard the last from these doods. USA FTW!
- Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf
I WIN! Looking at carpet swatches atm.
- Thomas Dewey
Romans are hassling ppl, going to this garden Judas knows to chill and stay under the radar.
- Jesus
This stand will B my best yet!
- Gen. George Custer
Bunch of peeps in boats and funny hats came 2 call. Seem friendly. One is kinda hot.
- Pocahontas
Got a great spot to see Prez. One street sign in the way but it shouldn't matter much.
- Abraham Zapruder
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
21 metawords:
LOL I loved what Jesus tweeted.
peace
#2
This tends to suggest a causal link between Twittering and death. Sadly the facts don't appear to support this.
New Bible verse translations pretty much prove that Jesus is sending all Twitter users directly to hell as soon as he comes back.
I always suspected Pocahontas was the twittering kinda gal! (she did naked cartwheels to "entertain" Smith and his men ... brazen hussy!)
Wait. This thing doesn't make liquor - Eli Whitney.
(yet another reference to Mr Cotton Gin)
Now I'm even more scared of Twitter.
Damn, I have to google Thomas Dewey & Abraham Zapruder.
Stop being more knowledgeable than me!!!
*fist shake*
Brilliant all, but Jesus just slayed me. I'm dead now, of laughter.
Argh, I totally boned the Jesus one. It's better now :)
if i read one more twitter article in the ny times i'm going to close my account. conversely, you should totally submit this to the ny times. at least it would make me laugh.
So...I have to say...when you started out, I was like "Yeah, hey, Lincoln, the Titanic...heh..." But then you seriously knocked the ball out of the park with the Jesse Owens one and kept up the high level of hilarity thereafter. Well done. Well done. Pocahontas was most excellently done.
Who knew Schwartzkopf was a poor speller?
words - you're right, it IS better now! (Though the first was still funny.)
"Argh, I totally boned the Jesus one." - now that is classic!
I'd follow Jesus' tweets. Hearing what the Messiah had for lunch would be pretty interesting.
Custer was my favorite.
You should do another edition, this was boss.
Romans are hassling ppl, going to this garden Judas knows to chill and stay under the radar.
- Jesus
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Man, you're SO going to hell for that one. ;)
This is freaking hilarious... love the Jesus one!
You're brill, as per usual.
Headed to Senate to read petition. BRB.
-J. Ceasar
Oh Gwen...you know how to make me fall caput over calcaneous for you.
Post a Comment