If you are a sensitive, decent non-blaspheming reader, turn around right now and come back tomorrow.
If you are the person that calls the FCC when Janet Jackson shows a boob or someone drops the F-bomb, go read Ziggy.
Seriously.
You might go to hell just for reading this.
I warned you.
Last chance.
I wash my hands of this.
Chatter X: Haha, I just went to Poobomber's blog and the Insultatron said "I caught Chatter X and Jesus fucking!"
Me: OMG. You are way dirtier than me. SHAME.
Chatter X: Why?
Me: You were fucking Jesus!
Chatter X: I was young, and I needed the money!
Me: HE PAID YOU? You were Jesus' whore?!
Chatter X: Hahaha.
Me: Actually, I guess that makes you Mary Magdalene.
Chatter X: There has to be a t-shirt that says "I'm a whore for Jesus."
Me: See, I would think somebody as famous as Jesus would try to skip out without paying, like you should be happy for it.
Chatter X: You're going to hell!
Me: I didn't do it!
Chatter X: Jesus is no welcher.
Me: So I'm going to hell for calling him a welcher, but you're not for fucking him for money.
Chatter X: I'm POOR!!! Fucking economy.
Me: I'm poor too, you don't see me fucking Mary.
Me: Okay, NOW I'm going to hell.
Chatter X: Hehe. "Am I going to hell yet?" "Wait...nnnnnnnnow you are."
Chatter X: I can't quite believe we're actually having this conversation.
Me: Me neither. I hope my aunt the nun isn't reading this.
Chatter X: hahahaha
Me: I think if I made this a "Chatter X" post the internet would blow up.
Monday, April 6, 2009
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23 metawords:
You had me at Ziggy. Seriously, I really need to go read what Ziggy has to say.
I'm back.
Yeah. It didn't take that long.
On the subject of Jesus, it reminds me of what Prunella Jones said on Girl Interupted's blog if there were a dinner party and Jesus were there: "Seat me next to him - Ive always wanted to know if I could seduce our Lord" .
I swear I've been thinking about that line all day. That girl is brilliant!
It's the six-pack abs. Divine and cut? Holy hell, sign me up.
Hahaa, this is effing gold.
Reserve me a seat on your minibus to hell.
You chat with a bunch of freaks.
Ahem.
Haha, good stuff, I'm sure Jesus would be secretly flattered.
I need to have more conversations like this
I'm much too pious for my own good
*smiles angelically*
I had an idea who you were chatting with while I was reading this and she all but confirmed it.
My blog always drives people to fucking holy people.
So what's this? Falwless is still alive???
You should just start revealing the name of Chatter X because it seems to be the same person lately.
(btw...it's my new goal to become Chatter X)
Ha ha ha! Hell will be worth reading that!
I'm OK with going to hell - everyone I know will be there. Save me a seat.
To alleviate Red's concerns (and probably everyone else's)...this is the fourth G-Chat Diaries entry, and there have been three different Chatter Xs. So it's not the same person all the time.
Also, to increase everyone's chance at being America's Next Chatter X, please see the new Plugoo application on my blog sidebar!
I'm just saying, the last 2 have been the same person...I think...
I was watching Matchpoint last night and one of the characters said, "My father lost his legs, but he found Jesus" and the other one said, "It sounds like he paid too much". I love a good Jesus joke.
See, Chatter X has it all wrong. Of course he'd try to not pay. Hello! King of the Jews!
Wait...too soon?
mjenks, you're better than that. don't do that.
I'm considering sueing you for false advertising
It says, and I quote ... "Chat to WWW!" but you're either not online or the stoopid little widgety thing isn't working!!!
SO not amused!
You know, I DO have to work sometimes! Although not this time. as I was out at the post office.
LMAO @ mjenks.
I've been incorporating the phrase "sweet deep-fried baby Jesus" into every possible conversation for about a week. There aren't many but I've managed to use it three times but once was to argue about whether or not fucking baby Jesus was worse than eating him. But I think it counts.
I would like to be featured in an upcoming installment of the G-String Diaries, please.
Beckeye: That really sounds more like Zibbs' bailiwick, but I'm more than happy to give it a go! Please arrive with a selection of g-strings and a bottle of ripple.
Holy Crimoli. It's a good darn thing I didn't read this post when it was posted during freaking LENT!
And freaking Holy Week no less!
And I believe you when you said I'd probably go to hell just for reading...lucky for me I got myself all prayed up and holied before I commenced reading so I'm sure I'm good.
Right?
Right?
Oh crap.
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