Even More People Who Steal My Good Ideas

I've previously detailed how my brilliant idea for an ice cream flavor was stolen by Ben & Jerry's. Several years ago, a South Park script I wrote was replicated in stunning detail on an actual episode of the show. I'm dismayed to report that my fertile mind has yet again been raped and pillaged.

In April, I wrote a post about how various historical figures might have used Twitter. Today I was innocently surfing the web and came across a blog called Historical Tweets. Cocoa Puffs fell from my mouth as I stared agape at my pilfered creation. I certainly recognize that a great idea might occur to more than one person. But three times? The script, the ice cream, and now historical tweets?? And this isn't even counting the way Hulu infiltrated my brain to appropriate an inside joke!

I've had it, Internet. I've had it with you and your underhanded thievery. You'll get no more good ideas from me. Henceforth, I will traffic exclusively in terrible ideas. This way, if you continue your dastardly behavior, you will at least be punished with bad content.

Here then, Internet, let me give you a sneak preview of some things I've been working on:

* A richly illustrated coffee table book exploring life at a 55-and-over nudist colony.

* A weekly newsletter written by and devoted exclusively to the adorable activities of Princess Foo-Foo, an unnervingly anthropomorphized Persian cat.

* A PBS miniseries that investigates scientific accuracy in the television show Battlestar Galactica, hosted by a rotating series of bachelor computer programmers.

* A blog in which Don Koharski of Skokie, Illinois uses each night's frozen Hungry Man dinner as a jumping off point to detail the unending agony and haunting loneliness that have reduced his life to an interminable wait for the sweet relief of death.

Have at it, boys!