Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Road Not Taken

I was talking with a friend last night about the old story that Hitler only turned to politics when he was denied admittance to art school. We wondered how the world might be different if only some art professor had been a little more enthusiastic about young Adolf's portfolio. After a little research, I discovered that many of the world's dictators and genocidal maniacs had a dream cruelly dashed before taking out their revenge on the world. A sampling:

Josef Stalin: Was a promising flautist before being demoted to second chair in the school orchestra and concluding that meritocracy sucked.

Pol Pot: Won championships at hundreds of quilting bees before his girlfriend left him over his obsession; soon decided that the arts were indulgent and vain.

Idi Amin: Enjoyed floral arrangement until he was drafted and subsequently ridiculed by his Army buddies; vowed revenge on everyone, saying "I'll eat your children!" decades before Mike Tyson did.

Benito Mussolini: Was an exceptionally emotive dancer until his career derailed when a late train caused him to miss an audition for the Bolshoi Ballet. A distraught Mussolini pledged to improve the efficiency of public services at any cost.

Kim Jong-Il: Harbored dreams of a career in the NBA; despite his outstanding defensive play, his diminutive stature limited his potential and he soon developed a Napoleon complex.

8 metawords:

Soda and Candy said...

*sigh*

Brilliance.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Something about imagining Mussolini emoting in a leotard, will get me through the rest of today with a smile on my face. :) The only thing more lovely would be if his other hobby was dressing like a Pierot clown complete with sad painted tear and miming to tourists.

red said...

But have you seen Hitler's art. Turrible. Juss turrible.

Cora said...

And don't forget Saddam Hussein and his broken dream of writing childrens books.

Sad. Just sad.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Oh, sure, you can have guns in the locker room in the NBA, but you can't have a diminutive Korean guy with a dream...

BeckEye said...

Don't you have a lot of crushed dreams? I think I should sever all contact with you now to avoid trouble down the road.

The Diva on a Diet said...

If there's a more brilliant turn of phrase than: "Benito Mussolini: Was an exceptionally emotive dancer ..." - I'm sure I don't know what it is.

Thanks for the chuckles today. :)

Jay Ferris said...

It's always the tiny little crybabies that make the world a shittier place for the rest of us, isn't it? I sure as hell hope somebody is keeping an eye on Joe Pesci.