Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Best Whatever Of 2009

Many bloggers are posting lists of their ten favorite movies, music, books or TV shows of the year. For me to come up with ten of anything, I'd be including about 60% filler. In that spirit, we at words...words...words... present to you:

WWW's 10 Best Whatever Of 2009

10. Winning Firecrotch Of The Year at The Pop Eye
Because being handsome, single and charming is not enough for me. I must be told by strangers that I am marginally funnier than other funny bloggers.

9. Attending the NFC Championship Game
Despite such things as driving six hours and spending $200 on a ticket to watch my Eagles lose to the Arizona frickin' Cardinals, spraining my ankle, and getting jumped outside the stadium, it was a know, this probably should be in the "Worst Whatevers of 2009" list.

8. Being Employed For 11 Months
Which is about 9 more months than I was employed in 2008.

7. Eating at Pizzeria Mozza
Mario Batali, if you weren't a man and also constantly handling fish, I would kiss you.

6. Up In The Air and Inglourious Basterds
Don't make me pick. I want a job that keeps me on the road 300 days a year like George Clooney's character has. Unless it gets me captured by Nazis like Brad Pitt's character.

5. Groupon
I'm not getting paid for this. It's just that awesome. Every day you get emailed an offer for a crazy good discount on a restaurant, retail store, attraction or service in your city. If enough people agree to buy it, the deal is on.

4. Texts From Last Night
For when you need to know that other people have lives more depraved and horrific than yours.

3. Taking My Nephew To The Movies
Watching him and a theater full of other kids inexplicably enjoy what I spent the last year working on was very gratifying. And also a reminder that little kids are stupid.

2. Winning My Fantasy Football League (for the third time in six years)
What else earns you bragging rights over nine of your friends, gives you an excuse to watch as much football as you want in the name of "research", and nets you $300?

And the Single Best Thing about 2009 is...

1. This:

I did not laugh at anything harder this year. I want to buy a hamster and name him Rodney Stanger. Enjoy!

9 metawords:

BeckEye said...


Firecrotch is way down at number 10??? What the hell, yo?

Oh, by the way, I can't play that YouTubage. I don't know what the hell's wrong. It's Y2K ten years late.

Soda and Candy said...

Texts From Last Night: horrifying and gratifying in equal measure.

red said...

Well, Mario IS a redhead. His dreaminess is just a given.

BUT, that pizza place looks awesome! I want to go to there.

The Diva on a Diet said...

I seriously don't know where to begin ... the hamster or the Texts from Last Night ... OMG, I'm dying of the laughter. Thank you! :)

Happy New Year to you, my friend!

Some Guy said...

I gotta thank you for that video. I hadn't seen that and was laughing my ass off!

words...words...words... said...

Beckeye: Your *ahem* is uncalled for. Making the top 10 is a great achievement. You should know, you made Pearl Jam songs #16, #20 and #29 on YOUR list, and I'm sure Eddie Vedder is not aheming.

S&C: Couldn't have said it better myself. The other thing I learned is that everyone is having more sex than me.

Red: Not every redhead is dreamy. I present you Carrot Top. Also, you should definitely go to there and invite me to boot.

Diva: Happy New Year to you, too!

Some Guy: I know, right? I've seen it a million times and it's still as funny as the first time.

Anonymous said...

Did you at least get in free to the movie? Do you have a special pass, all important-like?

words...words...words... said...

Kimmie: I actually had to PAY. Can you believe that? Oh, the indignity.

180|360 said...

I can't believe you didn't include beating me at Scrabble! :)