Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hot Tub Meta-Musings

This evening was quite cool by Los Angeles standards (i.e. my windows were open and my air conditioner turned off), so I decided to avail myself of the lovely hot tub on the roof. As I've stated before, I often get my best ideas in the hot tub, so sometimes I sit amid the bubbles for inspiration.

Alas, tonight my only epiphanies were about the hot tub itself.
Each of the four corners of the hot tub has a contoured seat, each with a different configuration of water jets. Three of the seats are quite comfortable (see Fig. 1). However, the seat with the very best and strongest jets sits a little lower in the water than the other three seats. This means that especially buoyant persons like myself tend to float over the seat, unable to sit comfortably (see Fig. 2). Complicating matters, the very same strong jets that make this the most desirable seat in the tub become an irritant for the aforementioned especially buoyant persons. Floating free and unanchored to the seat, these persons are easily propelled into the middle of the hot tub by the thrust of the very jets meant to soothe (see Fig. 3).





I can only surmise that the designers of this hot tub have lowered the most desirable seat simply to amuse themselves with the thought of innocent people being propelled across the hot tub, their only crime a desire for relaxation. Sonsabitches.

10 metawords:

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Could it be a deliberate form of Hot Tub Russian Roulette? Everyone takes their pick of the seats and the person who gets pushed into the middle by the jets is drowned by the others. Fun for all the family! You'll laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Dr Zibbs said...

I have a few neighbors with hot tubs. Nothing like getting into a HT with a few drunk MILFS.

Marketing Gurl said...

I love it...but this is the best feeling ever, being in a hot tub that is...especially after a long hard workout! Love, MG

Red said...

Now, those are some graphics I can get behind, or something.

Gwen said...

I'm not a very big person so I ALWAYS get pushed out into the middle by the jets. I prefer to lay on a float on top of the hot bubbles. Not much fun for anyone else in the tub but isn't it really all about me?

ÄsK AliCë said...

I love hot tubs...but I agree - that one seat is so annoying! Maybe they're expecting every crowd top have an especially tall, heavy person that can comfortably sit in the trick-chair.

Some Guy said...

They should provide some sort of shoulder-harness restraint system, like on a roller coaster, so that this sort of thing doesn't happen.

180/360 said...

Those graphics are killer. I kind of like some guys idea of being strapped in to the hot tub!

Falwless said...

The diagrams make this post. Funny shit.

TitansFan said...

I don't think it's deliberate. I think it's more of the fact that the manifold configuration may not be perfect. The lower down the jets the more powerful the jets. I have this Hot Tub and I don't float please not that I'm 6'1" 250 lbs. But my wife is only 5'2" 135 lbs. so I guess we got lucky with our hot tub.