Alas, tonight my only epiphanies were about the hot tub itself. Each of the four corners of the hot tub has a contoured seat, each with a different configuration of water jets. Three of the seats are quite comfortable (see Fig. 1). However, the seat with the very best and strongest jets sits a little lower in the water than the other three seats. This means that especially buoyant persons like myself tend to float over the seat, unable to sit comfortably (see Fig. 2). Complicating matters, the very same strong jets that make this the most desirable seat in the tub become an irritant for the aforementioned especially buoyant persons. Floating free and unanchored to the seat, these persons are easily propelled into the middle of the hot tub by the thrust of the very jets meant to soothe (see Fig. 3).
I can only surmise that the designers of this hot tub have lowered the most desirable seat simply to amuse themselves with the thought of innocent people being propelled across the hot tub, their only crime a desire for relaxation. Sonsabitches.
