Monday, December 7, 2009

Porn Is The Cleanser

Things have been slow here at the blog lately - if it can be said that an anvil falling off a building slows when it hits the pavement. I actually have things to write about but cannot even begin to put words together and describe them. I need something to disrupt my inertia. And what shakes things up better than abject obscenity? Thus, I present you a completely silly and thoroughly appalling list of porn movie titles based on real movie titles. Please enjoy this quality filler comedy.



A warning...it really IS filthy. So if you're of a delicate constitution, go read Ziggy or something.




No, really.




Last chance.




I knew you'd still be here. Here you go, perv:

Sperms Of Endearment
Lay Anything

Herpes, The Love Bug

Guess Who's Coming On Dinner

Eat The Parents

Clitty Clitty Bang Bang

Willy Wonked Me In My Chocolate Factory

Grinding Nemo

The French Erection

Monty’s Python In The Holy Grail

Some Like Her Twat

Jack Off My Beanstalk

A Swish Called Wanda

12” Angry Men

Wangs of Desire



14 metawords:

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Would it be wrong of me to admit that this really made me laugh?

Especially Herpes, the Love Bug.

BeckEye said...

Some friends and I were coming up with porn movie titles one night and I won with this entry - Cootch Cassidy and the Pump-Ass Kid.

Gwen said...

Grinding Nemo *snort*

Soda and Candy said...

Guess Who's... was my favorite.

Well done, sir!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

"Jackoff my Beanstalk" is my favourite and would make a really great insult to replace "go fuck yourself". Hey you fucker! Jack off my Beanstalk, asshole.

There, I feel better now.

Cora said...

Seen any good movies lately, Words? ;-)

180|360 said...

When will you start working again? I think you should take even more time off! :D Hilarious.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Filthy!! *slaps you on the face with glove*

I never!!

red said...

I like the Willy Wonka one.

That's all.

talesofawellfedgraphicdesigner said...

Sperms of Endearment...oh god, I laughed so hard at that...and for some reason, now I want a sperm plushie (like this: http://daddytypes.com/2007/05/08/plush_sperm_produced_by_hand.php)

words...words...words... said...

mjenks: It would not! It was supposed to.

Beck: Leave it to you to come up with a gay porn.

Gwen: I should have included Bi-Curious George just for you.

S&C: That was actually the last one to make the cut!

Veggie: That's it, let it all out.

Cora: Are you implying that I WATCH such films?? Shame!

180/360: So far you are getting your wish!

Steamy: You never? That's it, I'm done stalking you.

Red: That's all? Tough room! You are clearly a porn connoisseur.

Tales: That. Is. Hilarious. Kind of sends a message when you bring a date home, too.

Falwless said...

The one that did me in was Willy Wonked Me in My Chocolate Factory.

Oh dear god, that is brilliant.

BeckEye said...

Ahhh, you assume it's gay porn. I mean, COOTCH Cassidy pretty much implies the guy likes vaginal intercourse. Clearly, they're just buddies who like to tag team women, and maybe double penetrate a few, that's all. Maybe you WANTED it to be gay. You think about that, now.

Also, line from the movie: "You just keep fucking, Cootch. That's what you're good at."

Raquel said...

I don't even know what a swish is. And given my past internet mishaps, I'm afraid to search it.