Chatter X: Your grandmother's death did not hit you hard, then? Even that question makes you sound defective. It's acceptable to realize she had a long life and further time would have not been enjoyable for her.
WWW: Exactly. And no, it didn't.
WWW: I had a moment the other day when I looked at my address book to send out some notes. I had to erase hers. But it was more of a pondering thing than a grief thing.
WWW: It’s not so much just my grandmother that makes it weird...just that she’s the latest in a pattern where I'm surrounded by people who are obviously filled with grief and I feel like an extra in a funeral scene from a movie. The only thing that makes me upset at funerals is that other people are upset.
Chatter X: "Here I am, going through the motions. At least I'm in costume. I'll blend. I wonder what's for lunch? Is that wrong to wonder?"
WWW: I wondered. Swear to God.
Chatter X: Wow. I believe you. Did you wonder if you were inappropriate?
WWW: No, I didn't wonder about that.
Chatter X: You probably just haven't had the right person die yet.
Chatter X: You know, you make me say things that I would never have said in a million years otherwise. Thanks.
WWW: Hahaha. You know, I should have pretended that they were all out of the chicken parmesan. Then I could have cried.
Chatter X: Hahahahaha. Pull a nose hair out. That's how Bud Bundy does it.
Chatter X: We have now exhausted my knowledge of the dialogue from Married with Children.
Chatter X: Well, except for, "Aaaaaalllllllllllllllllll."
WWW: You forgot "Al, can we have sex?" "Uhh, no, Peg."
Chatter X: It's like that show writes itself.
WWW: Yes, it's "like" that.
WWW: It's a little known fact that Fox invented the Rimshot 3000 computer in 1983.
WWW: You just enter the names of your characters and a one line description of them. "Al Bundy: Sexually repulsed by wife, enjoys shitting."
WWW: And then you add the slugline. "Hot chick applies for job at Al’s shoe store." Done.
Chatter X: "Hot blonde daughter wrecks car."
WWW: See? You can be a TV writer too!
Chatter X: I can feel the unmerited royalty checks just waiting for me.