Saturday, November 8, 2008

Actual Conversations With Real People, Vol. 2

Today UBP presents another installment of Actual Conversations With Real People. These are, yes, actual conversations I've had with real people. Today's real person is *drumroll* a Deli Worker.

Me: "I'd like a tuna salad sandwich on wheat toast, please."

Deli Worker: "What would you like on it?"

Me: "Just lettuce and onions, please."

Deli Worker: "Any mayo or mustard on that?"

Me: "No thank you, just lettuce and onions."

Deli Worker: "Any cheese?"

Me: "No thank you."

Deli Worker: "Tomato?"

Me: (big sigh) "No thank you."

~ FIN ~

19 metawords:

Dr Zibbs said...

To get proper sevice you really have to announce, "Listen up, this is how it's gonna go down" - then place your order and tell them to repeat it while looking into your pissed, hungry eyes.

Red said...

You mean, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to work the deli counter?!

Gwen said...


words words words said...

Gwen, if there were a contest like Candy's, but only for one word comments, you would win.

Anonymous said...

cheese on tuna is gross. and wrong. gross and wrong.

~E said...

I would have paid good money to hear about how that deli worker kept asking you for extra toppins...artichokes, salt and pepper, pico de gallo...only to have you blog about how you hurled yourself over the counter and gave that dude/dudette the smack down he/she deserved.


words words words said...

Aw, E. Maybe I would have, but I was in Canada. I just never felt like beating up any Canadians. But that guy came close.

Anonymous said...

Canadians - can we get some of those here? Some of the best service I ever received was at a Canadian drive-in Mcd's, if you can believe that.

~E said...

In response to your comment on my last blog (the one with Hotty McGorgeous...Im sure you remember it well):

whatever! I may be uncool but at least Im still purty! What's your excuse.

*insert double wink here*

words words words said...

I LOVE Canadians. I swear, if Vancouver was just a few miles south I would have moved there immediately. Vancouver is like America except prettier and much more into hockey. And I had the best coffee of my entire life there.

~E said...

I also travel up to Vancouver once in a while (Im only about 3 hours away) as I also love the Canadians.

But I still would have loved the blog about you punching one of them out even more.

BeckEye said...

I should really blog about my story about the lady who called my office and didn't realize she had the wrong number. That was gold, no??

words words words said...

Solid Gold. It could even have Solid Gold Dancers.

mike said...

I can see where he's coming from with the "mayo or mustard" question. That's pretty acceptable. And sometimes people only order toppings, without thinking about cheese. So that's borderline okay. But that fucking tomato question is way over the top. I would have snapped.

ÄsK AliCë said...

I had never tried cheese on tuna OR egg salad. My older sister eats egg salad with cheese and found it weird that I never had! Thank you for (sort of) agreeing. Only yours is tuna. Same thing, whatever

I'll shut up now

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

At least he didn't ask if you wanted lettuce.

LYDIA said...

My favorite is when I ask for a Dr. Pepper and they offer me Root Beer. Those are not the same! It's not interchangeable like Pepsi and Coke. Dr. Pepper has 23 flavors... Root Beer has, well one. Ok, it might have more. I don't really know.

SouthernBelle said...

WWW - you are awesome, and I have accordingly added you to my blogroll.

PS - Lydia - No, root beer only has one flavor, and that flavor is Evil.

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