I can't possibly come up with anything as biting today as an email I received from my friend R. So I'm just going to post what she said and bask in her reflected glory.
R lives in New Orleans, and Hurricane Ike forced her to get out of town for a couple of days. She left me a voicemail telling me that she was evacuating because her part of town was threatened by a levee on the verge of breaking. Regrettably, I did not call her back right away. There are two reasons for this:
1. I didn't understand most of the message because our phones hate each other and I usually get about every third word when we talk.*
2. I'm a terrible person who hates phones and never calls anyone back.**
Today I get an email from R. It says, in part:
"I wondered why you didn't call me back, what with the imminent danger of losing everything and all.
These pictures are of the levee that protects my home. You may notice how it resembles a waterfall.
So yeah, um, really sorry to read you couldn't find a fork to eat your salad the other day. That had to be difficult."
Burn. Of. The. Century.
A tip of the cap to you, R.
* Mostly true.
** Completely true.