Winner Takes It All

Today at work we had one of those fun discussions that I always miss when I'm not working. It was discovered that one of the girls in the office had not heard of Sweden's biggest export after meatballs and hockey players, ABBA. She was urged to view some clips on YouTube, and quickly declared that ABBA sucks.

Thus began a culture war in the bullpen. Arguments and personal insults were fired around the room in a messy effort to decide the merits of Bjorn, Benny, Agnetha and Anni-Frid. My own view - that ABBA has excellent pop instincts and can write a devastating hook while ruining all of that with cheesy performance and production - was clearly too nuanced for this group. I was forced to go to the fabled "Argument Ender". An Argument Ender is a point so strong that even the most ardent opponent would never dare challenge it. I laid it down, and it worked. The argument simply stopped in its tracks. I was forced to sell my dad down the river to do it, but I won.

The Argument Ender: "My dad doesn't like music. I don't mean he doesn't like a lot of different music, or that he doesn't listen to music as often as other people; I mean he just doesn't like music. To my knowledge, the man owns two records. One is "Perry Como's Christmas Album". The second? "ABBA Gold". ABBA, my friends, sucks."