The G-Chat Diaries, Vol. 8

WWW: Oh, HELL. The Border Grill taco truck was on the lot for lunch this afternoon and I just found out! It's too late!

Chatter X: Oh, no!! It's not still there?

WWW: It left at 2:30. Ten minutes ago!

Chatter X: No one told you? These people are not your friends.

WWW: I had to find out on Facebook from someone who just had some!

Chatter X: WHAT? Your office peeps have some 'splainin' to do.

WWW: No joke. That should be a public announcement. Who doesn't enjoy a delicious taco?

Chatter X: Crazy folk, I'd imagine.

WWW: That could be the only explanation. Or people who belong to a religion that forbids the eating of tacos.

Chatter X: That is possible. Or people who were in a car accident that damaged their olfactory nerves, contributing to a lack of taste sensation.

WWW: That is truly sad. Because tacos are definitely a taste sensation. It's sweeping the nation.

Chatter X: Yeah, even I've heard of tacos, and I don't follow many trends.

WWW: Well, you come from taco country. Or taco country-adjacent.

Chatter X: Yes, it is practically Mexico here.

WWW: Do you know the Frito Bandito?

Chatter X: He is my uncle. Tio Bandito.

WWW: Wow! I can't believe you never told me that.

Chatter X: I had to make sure you were trustworthy, as you can understand. It's like telling people you're Gary Busey's daughter or something. You can imagine the hangers-on and wannabes.

WWW: Wow, yeah. I imagine if someone told me they were Gary Busey's daughter I'd have about a million questions.

WWW: Like, “Are you sure you should be telling people that?”

WWW: But I'm glad I passed the trustworthy test. So is your real last name Bandito? Did your family have to change it to avoid persecution?

Chatter X: Nah, it's a stage name that just means he likes to steal Fritos. His real name is Harold "Ed" Chatter.

WWW: Fascinating.

WWW: So can you get me free Fritos?

Chatter X: Oh, man. Here we go. It's like high school all over again.

WWW: I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.

Chatter X: It's okay. It's just, everyone wants a piece of you, you know?

WWW: Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like when people come up and tell me I'm really handsome like they're the first one that ever thought of it.

WWW: "I KNOW. Can we move on now?"

Chatter X: Oh, man, I know! That gets SO old. People are lame.

WWW: Well, what can you do? It's the burden that comes from being exceptional. We've both learned how that is.

Chatter X: Yeah, and that sad part is that people don't understand that we're really being sincere when we say it's hard to be so smart and phenomenal-looking.

WWW: No, they think we're saying it like a pro athlete who jumps to a new team for an extra $5 million because he "has a family to feed".

Chatter X: They're just haters. All of them.

WWW: We didn't ask to be born like this. We’re just the way God made us.

Chatter X: We're just doing the best we can.

WWW: I mean, I never complain that I don't get to sit around outside all day like homeless people. Or spend lots of time with my family like the unemployed. So don't complain about my looks.

Chatter X: That is perfectly reasonable.

WWW: I think so. But then again, we’re smarter than they are.