Monday, May 3, 2010

The G-Chat Diaries, Vol. 12

In a departure from previous installments of The G-Chat Diaries, I have redacted several statements from Chatter X to preserve the tattered remains of his/her reputation. If you would like to be featured in a future installment, just hit up WWW via the Plugoo chat application over there on the right!

Chatter X
: I'm talking to you from an unsecured wireless network...is that bad? Can people see this?


WWW: No it just means there's no password for the network.

Chatter X: I'm totally stealing someone's internet.

Chatter X: So they can't see what I'm doing?

WWW: Nope.

Chatter X: Unless they're some kind of brilliant hacker?

WWW: And also, if they cared.

Chatter X: Off to the porn sites! If my identity is stolen and my [Naughty!] are published somewhere, I'm killing you.

WWW: I'm okay with that.

Chatter X: Not afraid of death, eh?

WWW: We both know you're too lazy to travel 3,000 miles to kill anyone.

Chatter X: That's true.

Chatter X: Although, while I was there I could try to swing by that whatever festival to see [Shitty band Chatter X loves]. I get all the festivals confused.

Chatter X: It's not Bonnaroo.

Chatter X: Uhhh. [Expletive].

Chatter X: I hate when information falls out of my head.

WWW: Coachella?

Chatter X: YES

Chatter X: They're headlining Coachella this year.

WWW: Really?

Chatter X: Yes.

WWW: Was Jesus Jones unavailable?

Chatter X: [Shitty band Chatter X loves] is huge, what are you talking about?

WWW: Huge? Hmm. Moderately. Besides, I just don't like them at all. Despite the presence of [Chatter X’s stalkee].

Chatter X: Well, you're stupid.

Chatter X: That's my only retort.

WWW: It's an old reliable one.

Chatter X: POOL IS STUPID!

WWW: I like pool!

Chatter X: I know, I was quoting Jeff Winger. Oh, how I wish full frontal was allowed on NBC.

Chatter X: I'm very curious to [Trust me, you're better not knowing] what Joel McHale is packing.

WWW: I should interject here, in case this ever becomes a Chatter X post, that we are speaking about an episode of the delightful NBC comedy Community, starring Joel McHale as wisecracking ex-lawyer turned community college student Jeff Winger.

Chatter X: That's true. You know, I have this theory that they sort of named Joel's character after Bill Murray's in Stripes.

Chatter X: John Winger / Jeff Winger. They're both charming, wisecracking smartasses.

WWW: Hmm. Not Kip Winger?

Chatter X: Nah, not enough hair (chest and head) for that. And he never pirouettes.

Chatter X: It can't be Debra Winger, because Joel's voice isn't deep enough.

WWW: I think we've exhausted pop culture Wingers.

7 metawords:

MJenks said...

Curses, I was all about to interject some Kip Winger into this conversation, but you already hit it...like it was only seventeen--SEVENTEEN!!!!

Soda and Candy said...

I love Community so much. Joel McHale is not attractive, objectively, but man I would so hit that if I could. Sarcastic wit does it for me big time.

The Diva on a Diet said...

I'm torn between thinking I'll never chat you up for fear of appearing in one of these ... or wanting to say something really outrageous so I will! Only time will tell.

Cora said...

Damn it. I've never seen Community. I'm such a TV trivia boob. *hanging head in shame*

My wv: "wammo" *snicker*

talesofawellfedgraphicdesigner said...

I almost thought Chatter X was me because of the "[Shitty band Chatter X loves]" but then I realized we'd never had this conversation.

BeckEye said...

Not that I know anything about this, but I can almost guarantee that the band in question is not shitty in any way. Everyone knows that WWW's taste in music is questionable.

talesofawellfedgraphicdesigner said...

I have to agree, BeckEye. ;)