Thursday, April 15, 2010

Reasons To Hate The Movie Business, Vol. 1

In keeping with our desperation to find anything at all to post about, welcome to what will become a new running feature in WWW, "Reasons To Hate The Movie Business". As some of you know, I am a low-level functionary in film production. This makes me privy to a host of stories that make you question the basic decency and intelligence of humanity. Here is the first.

Yesterday, we held what is called a "show-and-tell"1 for [redacted], one of our studio executives. This is when the executive comes over and we show him character designs, storyboards, location photos, etc. for his perusal and approval before the movie begins production.

A few hours before the show-and-tell, [redacted]'s assistant called our production office with a request.

"Can you make sure that there are, like, interesting little things on the table to fidget with? [redacted] really likes to fidget with things while he's thinking. It helps his process."

- Fin -


1. Official movie lingo!

10 metawords:

red said...

Yikes!

MJenks said...

I like to fidget with things, too, while I'm thinking.

There's no way in hell I'd call up someone to make sure they had enough things for me to fidget with...

Gwen said...

I just rolled my eyes so hard that they stuck. Now I can only see my own brain because some Hollywood asshat likes to fiddle with things.

Did you ask if little boys were on his list of items? Too much?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Now I just MUST know what you all came up with of interest for the spoiled baby to fidget with! In fact, I demand photos!

Or you all could just lay your balls on the table. See if he takes a hint.

Yes, those balls. Apologies to any ladies you work with.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Ok, in all fairness though, sometimes it's the crazy overzealous asskissy assistant who notices things like "likes to fidget" and then calls ahead requesting trinkets, because she's an asshole. I've seen that happen too.

Also, the first time I read this post, I was wondering why I hadn't heard of this movie you hate called "Business" and thought to myself, "What a lame movie title!"

ÄsK AliCë said...

Why can't asshat or asskissy assistant BRING their own fidgety fucking toys with them?

That's the real question.

Soda and Candy said...

otherwise known as "Can you make sure he'll be able to ignore you as easily as possible?"

What a douchewad.

words...words...words... said...

Red: If I ever awarded a prize for Most First Responses, you'd be the runaway winner!

MJenks: That's what got me, too. The passing off of responsibility.

Gwen: Too much. But you used "asshat", which absolves you.

Veggie: Chocolate mini eggs and Easter grass. And balls.

Steamy: I totally agree, I have seen that phenomenon too...sometimes these important people would be horrified to learn what is done in their name. However, I can assure you that's not the case here :p

Alice: Indeed it is.

S&C: Interesting combination of "douchebag" and "gaywad". I hadn't seen that before. Well done!

180|360 said...

I'll admit, I was kind of reading this quickly and at first glance I thought it said, "make sure there are interesting little things like midgets on the table."

Cora said...

Sounds exactly like my job. I'm a nanny.