There's More Than One Dummy In This Story

Every family has old reliable stories that they drag out when it's time to pile on someone. This is the story that my family gangs up on me with.

I was about 17 years old and my family was watching a TV show about a ventriloquist who would speak only through his dummy. Some childhood trauma had caused him to refuse to speak in his own voice for over 20 years.

The ventriloquist had a breakthrough and near the end of the show he finally spoke in his own voice, sans dummy. He was eloquent and spoke confidently. "That's ridiculous," I said angrily. "There's no way that after 20 years of not talking he'd be able to speak so perfectly again without practice!"

The lesson, as always: I'm a knucklehead.